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| Tomorrow is the Sabbath.
Pastor Carter went over the importance of Sabbath last Sunday - of how God intended it to bless us - how we need to take a break from work to really enjoy living.
I look forward to tomorrow - GRE's and all.
I am blessed to have a family support me 100% as i chase my dreams - prayers and laptops and all.
I actually had a pretty rough Thursday - a meeting with RF, ex-dean of Eastman (school of my dreams and the #1 music school in the nation) asking me who I was and why I wanted to get yet another degree in the same thing, what makes me different from the thousands of other applicants applying for the same degree, what new thing I have to bring to the table aside from music - pretty freaking loaded questions.
I didn't have much to say because I was just thinking... of all the possibilities out there... there is so much more to music than I thought there was and I KNEW he would have this impact on me - if challenging me to look beyond what my own plans for myself are.
I walked home and thought some more and e-mailed him... this is what I came up with.
Mm... I apologize if my facial expression just seemed confused and
strange. I must have seemed out of it during our meeting, but I
promise I was completely there - only in deep thought. I think its
just that what you said completely rocked the plan I had had in my
mind (and my parents minds as well) since I first started my first
year as an undergrad.
You asked me who I am. I decided that I dont really have much
experience outside of music and people. A lot of who I am stems from
people. I care about people - a lot. You also asked me what I picture
myself doing 10 years from now. Honestly, I see myself teaching kids
and adults - whether in a private or group setting. Group setting
intrigues me... I am in Martha Hilleys (sorry my apostrophe button
doesnt work) group piano pedagogy class and there is something magical
and so fun about a group of adults coming together and learning about
music - they are there because they want to be. My ultimate dream
would be to set up a personal music lab wherever I end up to give the
same opportunity to learn music for people who cant afford it -
probably more urban areas - so that they learn that music is
everywhere and anyone can learn? or perhaps as an after-school program
for teens in areas where gangs or other things are prevalent - so they
can have a creative outlet? or to retirement homes for elder people to
enjoy music and to feel like they are continually learning and growing
even at their age. I want to inspire people in whatever small way I
can. My ultimate goal is to share what I love with as many people as I
possibly can.
Now that being said... I know I also want to be the professor that my family and grandma want me to be... but I also want to teach privately and eventually save up to have the piano lab that I dream to have. Who says I can't have it all? I'll die trying.
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| i suddenly feel like updating xanga.
its almost been two months since my last post. and a lot has happened since.
im drowning in work. accompanying and teaching and lessons. but constantly learning and growing. i cant really ask for more from my masters degree. i really cant. a lot of people tell me i should have gone to indiana instead. bigger name must mean better school. while i will never really know if indiana is as good a school as it is ranked to be, i will never regret my decision to come here. ive learned too much and gained too much to.
ive been going to prof. 20th century history every friday to help me analyze this prokofiev piece im learning. i look at the pages and its totally foreign to me. and this old, pleasant man with big teeth whistles his way through each tune and makes sense of it for me. i look forward to every friday. did i mention i dont even have him as a teacher this semester? hes just helping me cus hes just nice like that. i need to give him something nice at the end of the semester. maybe a donut cus thats what i would appreciate at the end of the day. but then not all ppl work the way i do. shame, cus donuts are the best.
i need to start watching greys anatomy. the new doctor is delicious! haha i am such a girl sometimes.
also... basketball season starting... gotta watch my lakers rock it. and derrick rose for that matter. wooo watching that boy play for the bulls made me eliptical it for 2.5 hrs during their games against the celtics!
no longer in limbo!
me and all the roomies have become utterly insane. were so busy that weve all become... walking zombies. but it makes for random fits of laughter... walking by aimees room and seeing her pants down to her knees brushing her teeth. all of us starting to talk like tiffany... uhjsheesh... grotchs gross name... spa sessions in front of the tv... gossip girl... studying in the room... and tons of eating too.
oregon? colorado? cincinatti? texas? chicago? new york?
thanksgiving... austin or walnut? we will seeeeee.
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| should be but isnt!
continually on the hunt!
the longer i am in tx, the longer i realize that i need to be here in life.
i thrive here.
i learn so much here.
i love it here.
now if only i could convince kathy to come out here...
ill be set!
me and my roomies exchanged i love yous tonight.
:)
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| im going to try really hard to do at least that.
my summer break at home is officially done. and im now resuming my life in texas.
as good as summer was. it wasnt reality. maybe its cus summer break has always been that to me. a break from the daily grind for whatever adventure you can possibly think of.
i was so busy throwing my hands in the air having the time of my life that it didnt feel real. a lot of the time, it just felt fleeting and that made me kind of sad.
it was just too much. too much play time. too much fun. too much doing whatever i wanted. too much freedom. too much carelessness. too much recklessness. in more ways than one.
my parents warned me periodically throughout the summer about this. but i chose to ignore them. im 23 and/but i still have a lot to learn about life.
as much as i will miss walnut for the next couple months, i am glad to be back in texas.
back to normalcy. back to finding new treasures that make austin the gem that it is. back to being a mozarts regular. back to beautiful clear skies. back to being a busy bee practicing, working out, reading, austin stone. most importantly, back to moving forward... mostly in regards to my career, but also other things.
incubus. thrice. acl. live concerts galore.
bonding time with aimee, tiff, grace... my new roommates who i already adore.
learning even more about music and dreaming even bigger for my future.
getting plugged into my home church here.
being a bridesmaid for the first time.
i already have so much to look forward to.
23. i havent looked forward to being a certain age for awhile. for some reason, i feel like im gonna learn so much and experience so much this coming year. i cant wait.
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| to never let go of xanga. and here i am a couple months later writing. xanga i will be loyal until the day i die.
i am almost done with summer.
laughs. dancing. eating.
meeting new faces. getting reacquainted with old faces.
trying to get reacquainted with the Lord.
many kickbacks.
much dreaming.
starting to get serious with the practicing.
i guess i am just really soaking up this summer because i know that when im in austin, no joke i have no life and i just practice/study/work out all the live long day.
not many summer days left.
i refuse to let lifes worries get in the way of my living it. and
i
absolutely
refuse
to
stop
dreaming.
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